Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Tom Starita on the Nature of People

Hey everyone!  I'm very excited to share a guest post from Tom Starita, the author of Growth and Change are Highly Overrated.  I truly enjoyed reading and reviewing his book and strongly urge you to do so!

Contrary to popular belief, money is not the root of all evil. In fact, I believe that money is the victim of an unfair smear campaign run by people who profit off of you not having said money. But that is another blog post for another time. No, I’m here to tell you the root of all evil is the failure to understand the essence of someone else.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship, a friendship or a job, if you don’t understand the hows and the whys of that other person then you might as well pack up your stuff and start searching for higher ground. Far too often we get angry or frustrated with someone for being exactly who they are, instead of being who you want them to be.

The wisdom you just read isn’t a sudden realization, made by yours truly while sitting in a one man booth inside a faceless diner while the docile tones of Aimee Mann telling me how Voices Carry drift in the background. No, this is a truth I finally figured out in the wee hours of a snowy February weekend back in 2013. A truth given to me by a fully formed character who happened to appear at a pivotal point in my life. His name is Lucas James and I wrote a book all about him and his philosophies in my kind of but not really best selling book, “Growth and Change Are Highly Overrated.”

Lucas James is a dangerous combination of charm and selfishness. The kind of man who has no compunction in asking you for your last dollar just because he has a hankering for a Snickers. He’s driving down the highway of life and if you’re going to ride shotgun with him you have to accept that not only does he control the radio but he’s also driving your car. And you’re probably paying for gas and meals too.

I know I know, sounds like the kind of guy every girl wants to marry.

Ah-ha! And there lies the rub. Because there are lots of us out there who are attracted to the “bad boy” type. It’s not just girls who fall victim for this type of merciless personality type. Men are just as easily beguiled by some vixen with the right words and a tight blouse. And both sides endure the anguish because they believe they are special. And if you’re special, then surely this selfish individual sitting across from you will recognize your brilliance shining through and BING BANG BOOM PRESTO CHANGO, the selfish becomes the selfless and everyone lives happily ever after the end and ever and ever Amen.

Well I’m here to tell you I wrote, “Growth and Change Are Highly Overrated” to finally extinguish the flame of that horrible lie. People don’t change. They are who they are. Sure, there can be subtle improvements. A sloppy man can learn to pick up his socks. But does picking up his socks fundamentally change who that person is? No, no and no again.

I can already see the hair rising on the back of your neck. But people do change! My significant other changed/I changed for my significant other! Well I’m a man who never deals in absolutes, so sure I’ll believe there are cases here and there with the happy ending that stays happy. I also understand that for every happy ending there are houses being burned to the ground while someone stands outside cackling with glee.

At this point, even if you don’t necessarily agree with me you can at least see where I’m coming from. You would think that someone who wrote from that point of view would produce a book filled with too much negativity to make it an enjoyable read. And you would be wrong! It’s not just me saying that, Ms. J mentioned that too when she gave my book four stars! If she enjoyed it surely there must be something redeemable hidden in its depths.

“Growth and Change Are Highly Overrated” was the most fun I’ve ever had writing. Period. The time I spent listening to Lucas James speak to me were some of the happiest of my entire life, resulting in me rearranging my writing schedule so that I would be at Starbucks at 8am because I couldn’t wait to see what would be coming out of my fingers. I know this sounds insane but it's true. Lucas James, for all his faults, is a funny guy. A charming guy. The kind of guy you might not want living with you, but might enjoy at the end of the bar speaking loud enough so you can hear his stories from last weekend. That’s what this book is -- a way to keep him at arm’s length and enjoy his antics while still keeping your sanity.

So if you buy this book, what can you expect? Great question. You’re getting Lucas James, wannabe Rock God. A man who just lost everything when his fiancée Jackie, “My Apple Jack,” decides she’s had enough. When I say everything, I mean everything. From the apartment to food, from the checkbook to the knowledge of what having a checkbook means. For the first time in his life, Lucas James will have to stand on his own two feet.

Of course Lucas James is a master storyteller, so you get to hear stories from his past, about Jackie, about his family, about his stupid ideas and opinions, warts and all. You get to meet Ralph, a shining beacon of hope and friendship. You meet Lori, disinterested cashier. This book answers the question, have you ever wondered what the inner thoughts of an out of control Id sounds like? Well, wonder no more.

In my professional opinion you’re going to laugh. You’re going to be upset. You’re going to laugh again. You might get a little misty, perhaps even choked up at times. You will want to wring the neck of Lucas James but you will not want to put the book down.

And when you reach that last page, and read the final sentence all I want is for you to lean back and feel something. Happiness. Anger. Frustration. Whatever the emotion may be. There are trillions of books out there and the plots go zooming by. Books that go back on your shelf and are forgotten the next morning.

My only goal in writing this book is you remember mine.
Tom Starita wrote this post and the book, "Growth and Change Are Highly Overrated." And despite everything you may have heard or read he really is a decent fellow. A fellow with a dream. A dream to never hear an alarm clock go off for the rest of his life. Help him achieve his dream. https://www.amazon.com/Growth-Change-Are-Highly-Overrated-ebook/dp/B01N2SW2K8

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  1. This might be the best guest blog post ever written by anyone ever

  2. Thoroughly enjoyed this...what a great book.